Exhaustion
I dont look at myself being good at all. I see a lot of aspects needed to be renewed. The way I groom, the way I work, the way I fall in love and the way I see my self. I know this sounds an issue of self-esteem, more than an issue of love nor of carrer. These past days, I had too much of mental blocks. I do not enjoy a feel good movie, I hardly follow a conversation, my patience seems so shallow, and my understanding seems so limited.
... thanks, I still find comfort with my baby.
I have been so restless lately, striving to cath things up. I am romping up my performance with my job because next month is my make or break for my regularization. I am always bothered about the floor that I need to fix. When should I gonna fix it and until when? Will I end up having a record with the NBI for not fixing the broken floor within the given time frame? Another thing is, my new house mate, no matter how I stretch my patience, I get pist off him. I get mouthed to almost everything I do. He is being unpleasant to my visitors. He is being, most of the time, very unpleasant to my eyes. The idea of him boils my head. However, the only feasible choice is to persevere. Lastly, I lost my wallet just last night, with all the importnat documents and cards. I really really feel so bad with all these happening to me right now. All of these things simultaneously coming in a flash infront of me. This is damn a hair loss.
Optimistically, I wanna move on with flying colors. I dont want to just surrender. I will face them one by one, taking a step at a time. I know the transition period is hard, but the it's the way it is. They freeze my head, but I need to think. I need to think to look for a better solution. I need to rationalize to lighten up my emotions. My body has gotten weak, but still thriving to move on. I must keep on doing what I ritually do but with a little difficulty day by day. A little more effort to be extra careful and calm, and stay civil. Though, I still afford to fire a laugh but less than I drowse of confusion.
Hope and despair are at their verge right now. I'm still coping, living and fighting. I love you, and you kow who you are... the accidental theorist.
... thanks, I still find comfort with my baby.
I have been so restless lately, striving to cath things up. I am romping up my performance with my job because next month is my make or break for my regularization. I am always bothered about the floor that I need to fix. When should I gonna fix it and until when? Will I end up having a record with the NBI for not fixing the broken floor within the given time frame? Another thing is, my new house mate, no matter how I stretch my patience, I get pist off him. I get mouthed to almost everything I do. He is being unpleasant to my visitors. He is being, most of the time, very unpleasant to my eyes. The idea of him boils my head. However, the only feasible choice is to persevere. Lastly, I lost my wallet just last night, with all the importnat documents and cards. I really really feel so bad with all these happening to me right now. All of these things simultaneously coming in a flash infront of me. This is damn a hair loss.
Optimistically, I wanna move on with flying colors. I dont want to just surrender. I will face them one by one, taking a step at a time. I know the transition period is hard, but the it's the way it is. They freeze my head, but I need to think. I need to think to look for a better solution. I need to rationalize to lighten up my emotions. My body has gotten weak, but still thriving to move on. I must keep on doing what I ritually do but with a little difficulty day by day. A little more effort to be extra careful and calm, and stay civil. Though, I still afford to fire a laugh but less than I drowse of confusion.
Hope and despair are at their verge right now. I'm still coping, living and fighting. I love you, and you kow who you are... the accidental theorist.
posted by parteeboi | 3:38 AM
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